From Frustration to Fulfillment
In my career I visit with a lot of women and there are a few things I often hear. “I just don’t feel fulfilled” or “it’s like something is missing.” “I don’t even know who I am anymore” or they might just feel a sense of discontent. It seems we reach a point in our lives when we begin to question; is this all there is? I wanted to share with you 3 ways we seem to be seeking more in our lives.
1. Loss of identity: Who am I? When I went through a divorce 10 years ago my counselor asked; “you don’t ever make decisions do you? I bet you don’t even decide what you’re having for lunch.” She was right. I wanted to think I was just being nice because I didn’t think it mattered to me, but it was more likely I was not taking responsibility. It was also that I didn’t really know what I wanted. In my quest to take care of everyone else, I had never taken the time to find out what I liked. The same thing can happen in other transitions such as becoming an empty nester or retiring from your career. When our identity is wrapped up in another person or What we do rather than Who we are, when those things change or the person is gone, we can feel lost.
2. Fear: “What will they think?” God made me perfectly just the way I am. Why is that statement so hard to believe? Social media does not help! We can so easily get caught in the comparison game. We hear a lot about being “authentic”, but is anyone really doing it? It has become a mission of mine to be the same person online and in person, however, I realized a few days ago that I was not being successful. Besides the fact that I do not like to post bad pics of me, I wasn’t being authentic in my voice. Now what I was saying was true, it is more what I don’t say. I have a diverse group of people on my Facebook, and having a need not to offend anyone, I was saying nothing. So much for being authentic! What I learned is authenticity will take vulnerability and risk. It takes risking what others will think of me if I am myself. I think it is a courageous risk I am willing to take. I choose While you are worrying about what “they” will think, “they” are out living their lives.
3. Lack of purpose: Why am I here? I can remember watching Oprah with my best friend many years ago now, drinking lattes and wondering what Oprah was talking about. Purpose? I am not sure what that is, much less if I have one. Purpose is defined as the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. Over our lives our purpose might look different in different seasons, but God will use the same gifts and talents that make you authentically you. Not being able to identify your purpose can lead to you feeling a sense of discontent and you’re quite not sure why because nothing is “wrong.”
We are all designed to live within our unique design with a desire to make a difference; anything less feels like something is missing. The first step to finding your purpose is to know who you are. I love working with women to discover all that God made them to be. I believe God has purposed me to assist women in living more authentic and purposeful life.
Praying for you on your adventure with God!