Netflix and Chill
“Without vision the people cast off restraints.” What Vision do you have for your life? When we know where we are going it makes it easier to make daily decisions that get us closer to the goal. As my pastor used to say, “You have to make the decision before the decision.” This is what my now husband, Richard had done when I met him. He had decided that he was only dating Gods way, no sex outside of marriage. This meant he knew ahead of time what kind of daily decisions he would have to make. We dated mostly in public. We did not stay home to watch Netflix and chill. When you are in the moment, it is too late to make this decision. When Richard shared with me that he had surrendered his life to Christ, including his dating life, my first reaction was maybe not what it “should” have been, I was disappointed. It was not that I did not appreciate that he was following God, but he was so good looking!
During the time we were dating I had friends that would tell me that I was “wasting my time,” that we were “just friends,” or that “he is just not that into you.” On the other hand, I had Richard telling me “isn’t this what woman want? To be respected.” Why was this so hard to understand? It seemed like I was the only one, even among Christian friends, that was waiting. One day I felt like God asked me, “who are you doing this for, me or him?” Sadly, I knew the answer. The question really was, if this does not work out, what will you do next time? I had to get on my knees and decide for myself that I wanted to be obedient to God’s word. Once I made the decision for myself, it did not matter if Richard changed his mind, it was no longer about him.
What I learned during this time was so valuable. If I had not ended up with the guy, my life was changed. What I learned was that my value does not come from a man, my value comes from Christ alone. God will meet all of my needs. I am a daughter of The King, loved, highly favored, wonderfully made, and chosen. Nothing anyone can say or do changes that. A man should treat you accordingly. Being able to wait for you is not a sign of a man’s weakness, it is a sign of strength and respect. Anyone can text you just to satisfy their own needs. It takes a real man to put God first.
It was not an easy journey taking the narrow path. I was doing some research on this subject and found that even Cosmopolitan magazine, best known for its sexy covers and edgy articles, had written about the fact that you have greater odds of making it in a relationship if you wait to have sex. Relationships are difficult. Your odds of staying married are only 50/50 at best. With a second and third marriage you have a 27% chance of making it. Why would you not want to do all you can to set yourselves up for success? Ladies, you deserve Gods best. Do not settle for anything less. The right man will be worth waiting for.
“Vulnerability requires bravery, but it is the key to victory.” Pastor Levi Luscko